tea for one

…

Katta — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 09:18:54 +0000

Back from the orthopaedist. You know, I was afraid of getting a shot, but what I was most afraid of was that they wouldn’t do anything at all.

Well, guess what?

All right, he didn’t do nothing, as such. He poked and pressed and twisted, and he’s booking me an ultrasound because he didn’t want to ‘jab in the blind’ - he did find a bursa that was probably inflamed, but that’s not where I hurt the most and he had no idea what’s causing me that pain. So, he says I’m getting an ultrasound. I thought, all right, brilliant! "But it won’t be before Christmas." At the point I kind of froze. Not before Christmas? I thought we’d do it right there and now. I must’ve gotten a look on my face, because he immediately said that he wished we could do it there, but it just doesn’t work that way. And I could feel my throat constricting and I started blinking, and he left while I got dressed. And the second he shut the door my eyes just started welling up. I couldn’t help it. I thought I could get fixed today. I did.

It took me a couple of minutes to pull myself together enough leave the room, and when I did he met me at the door - I think he must’ve seen how close to tears I was, because he said that he figured he’ll refer me to Malmö, which might be quicker.

Got home, managed to hold it together until my dad left for work, and then I started sobbing and haven’t been able to stop. I’ve just had enough of this. I want to go to England next year, and while I’m like this I CAN’T. You’re supposed to contact the farms where you want you to work at least a month in advance, and I can’t do that until I know if I’m actually going to be able to do it. And I want to go so bad. I NEED to go. This fucking thing is stopping me from living my life, and I hate it.

(Morris apparently heard me crying just now and came out of the bedroom, all low ears and wagging tail, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Jumped up and put his paws on my shoulders, sniffing my face. I love that dog.)

I really did think today might be the day. He was supposed to know what to do. I was so looking forward to going home knowing that I could wake up tomorrow and be pain free for the first time in six months. I know it may still work out, but having to wait first for the ultrasound where they may or may not see what’s wrong, and then wait for a new appointment with the orthopaedist, where they may or may not be able to do something… I just don’t know what to do in the meantime. Worrying about this takes up so much energy I can’t really focus on much else. And I can’t stop thinking about this and what will happen if I can’t get it fixed, either. Vicious circle.

I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. That’s why I’m so torn up. It was stupid.

O_o

Katta — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 21:57:42 +0000

Holy crap. The right person left Idol tonight? Is it possible?! Apparently, it is! Thank Christ for my favourite girl getting to stay and the one singer whose voice I couldn’t stand leaving.

Also, Erik doing The Show Must Go On? One of my all time favourite performances on the show, no question. Good job, dude. Freddie would have been proud. *thumbs up* (V, am I wrong, or would he make a freakin’ brilliant Galileo?)

Oh, Sheldon.

Katta — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:38:59 +0000

Penny: Morning, Sheldon! Come dance with me!

Sheldon: …No.

Penny: Why not?

Sheldon: Penny, while I subscribe to the ‘Many Worlds’ theory, which posits the existence of infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.

Penny: Are you fun in any of them?

Sheldon: The math would suggest that in a few I’m a clown made of candy. But I don’t dance.

The show must go on

Katta — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 08:34:51 +0000

I’ve already come out of the Idol-closet and admitted to watching it, so, I might as well post about it here. I’m not ashamed!

This week, they all get to choose their own songs. No theme, other than ‘Sing your favourite song’. I think it has potential to be a good night - there’s Patti Smith, Elvis Presley, Queen (yay!), Joe Cocker (well, Beatles, really) and… K-Ci and JoJo. Heh. It’s like a game of ‘Which doesn’t fit?’

Mostly I’m just looking forward to Erik singing The Show Must Go On, though. I think that of all the singers this year, he’s the one who might just pull it off.

Going under the battery

Katta — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:01:55 +0000

So, I went for my first TENS treatment today - that’s ‘transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation’ in fancyspeak. I got to lie on the table for twenty minutes with electricity pulsing through my hip. It was really, well, weird, but also strangely nice - in a pricking, tingling, almost-uncomfortable kind of way. It was a bit like being hit with a bunch of small, very sharp needles, or being pinched. I’m not really feeling any difference as of yet, but I’m guessing it’ll take a few treatments before that happens. I’m going there again next week.

Thinking of going to the public baths tomorrow and just soak for a while in the jacuzzi. Floating’s gotta be good, right? Not putting any weight whatsoever on the hip. Actually, that’s one advantage of having a term pass - you can go in there for just twenty minutes if you want to and not feel like you’ve just wasted a whole lot of money just to sit in the jacuzzi or the sauna. Also good? It’s five minutes away from ours. Just stop by on the way home from uni, and you’re not even wasting much time.

Pardon me for a second.

Katta — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:17:28 +0000

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

I want this pain to stop. Now. Seriously, I can’t do this for much longer. Please, electrotherapy, work.

Argh.

Katta — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:55:21 +0000

Sweet unnamed deity, why must there be so much awesome stuff at Etsy? This store is just killing me. I WANT those watches. I’m very tempted to at least buy the silver watch face - it’s not very expensive, and so, so pretty. Could work well with a regular band, too.

But man, some of the bands are so gorgeous, too. Waaaah.

(Does new new layout look okay? All right, it’s not very different, but a little. I kinda like it. The only thing I wish I knew how to get is a line or something between the content and the sidebar. Like the one above each post. But vertical. Obviously.)

My pigging leg!

Katta — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 23:00:16 +0000

I’m spending the weekend working on gathering data for my degree essay, which I’m now definitely writing on dialect effects on polysemy - comparing ‘knock off’ in American and British English. At the moment my work consists of going through the British National Corpus and the American equivalent, COCA, collecting examples. Look at my awesome syntax for searching: [[knock]].[v*] * [nn*] [off].

I’m looking at press, fiction and my favourite (as well as my most hated) category - spoken conversation. Spoken conversation is easily the most amusing and confusing stuff:

I thought aye aye! Water’s gone out of bag. I turned round and it were all right at back of my jeans! D’ ya know, I thought she said that I weren’t coming I knocked the pipe off back. and it comes out of hoover. Yeah. And it’s squirting all over my pigging leg!

My pigging leg! ♥ How can you not love that?

Coding it is going to be trickier, though. Not thinking about that yet.

TV speaks the truth

Katta — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 08:15:47 +0000

I’m sorry, but I’m sitting here cracking up and had to post about it. Watching Supernatural (don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil anything important), and someone mentions ‘phantom itch’ in passing. Basically, "all it takes is someone talking about an itch, or thinking about one, even, and suddenly you can’t stop scratching". Cue Sam and Dean both absently scratching their ear/neck. And me scratching my neck. I actually laughed out loud when I realised what I was doing. I’m so suggestible.

Just keep swimming…

Katta — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 18:32:19 +0000

I went swimming today! And it was glorious. First exercise I’ve gotten in ages. Whether or not I’ll pay for it tomorrow with owmyhipcan’twalk remains to be seen, but damn, it felt so good. Had a moment of panic when I couldn’t find my keys afterwards, and came out to discover them still sitting in the lock on my bike. Yikes. Good thing no one took them and the bike.

…

I think the first season of Everwood might be some of my favourite TV ever.

Ephram: What are you doing?

Bright: Picking my team.

Ephram: But you hate me.

Bright: No I don’t. I like you.

Ephram: Since when?

Bright: I’ve - I’ve always… been fond of you. I’m just - I’m shy, you know?

Ephram: All right, name one thing you like about me.

Bright: Just one? How ’bout a thousand? You’re, uh, you’re sensitive… Extremely clean…

Ephram: Look, Bright, I know you hate me, all right? And I’m fine with it, it means the planets are aligned, so let’s not mess with the universe, okay?

Bright: …You wanna pick the next guy?